Where to start really. I’ve been struggling of late with my own conscience and with my own walk because of 2 main factors really. Sin and also the most important factor – myself. I’ve been worrying so much about what God thinks of me I’ve been scared to do anything for him in case for some strange reason I do it wrong or I offend him by what I think or say. Because of that I’ve been doing to opposite, pretty much nothing in God’s name and I could feel myself drifting away from Him which is really horrible.
It wasn’t until very recently that I realised that I’d not properly prayed or properly read his word and found all manner of excuses not to do this blog because I felt wrong doing it. But here I am, how did I get to this point from there you may ask, well that brings me to the scripture of which I wish to turn to today.
John 16:32 "But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.
Firstly I know this isn’t Matthew, but this really meant something to me over the last few weeks really. It both scares me and feels me with Joy. Firstly, the reason it scares me witless is the last sentence about never being alone and always having God watching me. I do things and say things and also think things that I would feel ashamed if anyone else knew what they were and it’s the same fore EVERY person, anyone who says otherwise either is in denial, or very lost.
As Christians we know that God is there through all that we do and he knows all. That includes what we say, what we do and the most scary part is what we think. Personally, there are times when I think ‘ah, who’d know’ Its just me here… but then remembering that God is there always makes me so afraid and I will try and hide from God. Remember in Genesis after Adam and Eve sinned, they tried to hide from their God.
Think about it, how ridiculous that we could think of anywhere that God doesn’t see us! And for this reason also, I am filled with Joy and peace that I have a God that doesn’t sleep and watches over me wherever and whenever I am. Its scary to think that God knows us properly, he knows us better than we know ourselves and yet, through all that, he loves us and forgives us. How amazing is that? We are the wretched humans that sin every day, yet God sent Jesus to save us.
I don’t know about you, but that means more to me that anything. And for that reason, I prayed last night, for forgiveness for peace and for him to guide me. I felt the strength to be able to come here and share this with you as a encouragement to all of you that we are being watched yes, but we are also being watched in love and forgiveness.
Thank you so much for all your patience over the past few weeks. Thank you for your prayers, I guess I just needed to pray also.
In Christ.
1 comment:
Thanks Mikey for being so honest with us. If we are honest with you we all go through times when we hide from God. We fail God time and time again, nearly always with the same sin. We say how can God forgive us. Jesus asked Peter the same question how many times should you forgive your brother. Peter answered seven times (this was 4 times more than was being taught by the pharises, so Peter thought it was a great and gracious answer!), Jesus replied 70 x 7. This is precious to us who believe, knowing that no matter how many times we fail God He is ready to forgive if we come to Him in repentance. Remember the prodical son!!
Mikey you are not unique in your current situation, we all have been there and no doubt from time to time we will all return. The cure is to draw near to God and He will draw near to us. Reach out your hand of faith and put it in His. Let Him love you (forgive and heal you), let Him lead you and listen to His voice. Sit at His feet and in all your ways acknowledge Him.
You are very much in our daily prayers. You have encouraged many by this blog and we want to encourage you, more than that the Lord wants to encourage you. Let Him for he is lavish in His grace and love. The Lord Bless you Mikey.
The old man
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